These skills represent the otherwise intangible qualities that great leaders have in common.
Identifying and labeling your thoughts as thoughts by separating them from the facts will help you escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive new outlook.ĮQ skills are what set great leaders apart. When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural threat tendency inflating the perceived frequency or severity of an event. If your statements still look like facts once they’re on paper, take them to a friend or colleague you trust and see if he or she agrees with you. You can bet that your statements aren’t true any time you use words like “never,” “worst,” “ever,” etc. Once you’ve taken a moment to slow down the negative momentum of your thoughts, you will be more rational and clear-headed in evaluating their veracity. Literally stop what you’re doing and write down what you’re thinking. When you find yourself believing the negative and pessimistic things your inner voice says, it’s time to stop and write them down. Most of our negative thoughts are just that-thoughts, not facts. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.Ī big step in managing stress involves stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. People like to know you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows that not only are you listening, you also care about what they’re saying. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost.Ī simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is they’re so focused on what they’re going to say next – or how/what the other person is saying is going to affect them – that they fail to hear what’s being said. It’s true that how you say something can be more important than what you say. Positive body language can make all the difference in a conversation. Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that high-EQ people use to draw others in. Here are three effective ways to improve EQ:īecoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) will draw people to you like ants to a picnic. SPEAKING.COM: Could you give us three techniques for improving EQ?īRADBERRY: My book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 unveils a step-by-step program for increasing your emotional intelligence via 66 proven strategies that target self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. We have to walk our talk on this one, even if it means giving readers a really nice perk with the book.The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is they’re so focused on what they’re going to say next – or how/what the other person is saying is going to affect them – that they fail to hear what’s being said. Even though TalentSmart sells the test separately from the book for $40, we decided to include a passcode to the test with each copy because getting tested is essential to increasing your self-awareness and increasing your self-awareness is essential to increasing your emotional intelligence. The test gives you a clear picture of your emotional intelligence strengths and weaknesses, and this is something that you can do privately. The Emotional Intelligence 2.0 book includes access to our Emotional Intelligence Appraisal test for this very purpose. There's a much easier way to get the feedback you need and that's through an emotional intelligence test. That's never an easy conversation to have. If you have people in your life that can do this constructively, that's great.
To become self-aware, you need a great deal of high-quality, objective feedback on your emotions and your behavior.